Thursday, November 30, 2006

if i keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come

things that are on my mind.

in no particular order.

with no segues.

an abnormal blog for me (though there is still music to be had.)

there is a thread here though...a theme...i think.


ignore our sunshine and her ethnicity and gender, and this was me today:




• in what manner do you aspire to live your life? half glass full or half stolen?  i'm not asking you how you actually live...but how you think you should live. hmm. on second thought, go ahead and compare the two. how does your (maybe) theoretical outlook compare to the actual lenses you wear?
you see someone running down the street...they aren't in proper running attire. do you assume that they are clutching a stolen credit card, or do you see a lover tortured by every minute he is apart from his flame, braving a pulled hamstring just to spend five more minutes with her?
when i was a kid, it was easy to be an optimist...the pessimism was much tougher, and i put in the work. i thought that it was so much more logical and realistic. nietzsche and camus resonated with, and came as a relief to, that privileged, arrogant, and green kid.  fraternity was a lie. innocent until proven guilty was a waste of time.
that was before i ever experienced heartbreak. more importantly, it was roughly 70,000 smaller disappointments ago.
now, some days, i have to put in back-breaking work just to believe in anything or anyone. and yet, i keep doing it. i keep trying to attack the world like a puppy. i keep trying to look at everything as though it might just be the best thing ever. i keep trying to run up to things too fast, even if i wipe-out as a result. you know why puppies can keep up the, "i love this, i love this, i love THAT!" lifestyle?  it's got to be because of how quickly they forget how much of a let-down everything is.  i find it hard to forget, and it keeps getting harder to muster the joyous head-down charges. i mean, how many times does a horse walk into an electric fence before he gets the picture and stays away from the wires?
for the longest time, i had no trouble heeding the past and treading carefully around anything that might leave me vulnerable to anything at all. but...i've been charging headlong and head up into wires for the last few weeks, all of them so promising . i understood the russian roulette aspect of every choice...i think i just underestimated the number of bullets in the gun. i'm pretty well tired of getting electrocuted and shot in the temple.




wreckless eric.   whole wide world

go see stranger than fiction. best movie of the year (the only movie that comes close is little miss sunshine.) so smart and fantastic. also, i left the theater 100% in love w/maggie gyllenhaal...she always does good movies, but i've never loved her before.


• tired. i haven't really been sleeping more than 4-5 hours a night. only once in the last two weeks have i had a real night's sleep. i was planning to be asleep a couple of hours ago...this blog took longer than i expected. it doesn't help that i have five tabs open and that i can't even focus on this.




joanna newsom.   sadie.   lyrics.   youtube.

And all that I want, and all that I need
and all that I've got is scattered like seed.
And all that I knew is moving away from me.
(and all that I know is blowing
like tumbleweed)

i, admittedly, let another music blog do the legwork on this, but i wanted to share it. besides, i'm a better writer than he is.

i've written about joanna before. lots. i've tried to warn that her voice is odd. i've tried to explain how her childish sounding lyrics are deeper than they seem. well, the best proof of this comes directly from her own mouth. check out this portion of an interview she did w/tiny mix tapes:

"TMT: One of my favorite and one of the most heart rending songs on your new record is "Sadie," is there a story behind it?
JN: There are actually three stories; as with almost all of my songs, there's this recurring triumvirate structure that imposes itself without my even realizing it at first. The three subjects are always connected, but often in merely intuitive or symbolic ways. In this particular song, the most straightforward subject is my then-dog, Sadie, who passed on recently. She was a lovely white Labrador who liked nothing more in the whole world than to play fetch. And I've always been impatient about that; I'd look at the soggy pinecone dropped at my feet while I was trying to get into my car, and I'd say, "I'll play with you later."

The second subject of the song is a friend, my age, who was diagnosed with cancer. I remember marveling at the reaction of people around me, the way they sprung to action, finally articulated to her their love and appreciation, finally made those lunch dates they'd always talked about...and I sheepishly include myself in this phenomenon. It wasn't disingenuous; it was just that our collective illusion, that we have forever to let someone know how loved she is, had been shattered.

The third subject is one of my most beloved friends, whom I've grown apart from. We had this sort of running argument, or a running series of disagreements founded on the same fundamental points of divergence, and if we had been close at that point, talking every day or whatnot, then those disagreements would have seemed like nothing. But because our correspondence had fallen behind, and we'd developed insecurities and bitterness, these disagreements became all-consuming; we fixated on them, let resentments build around them, let a silence build between us. And I remember just having my breath taken from me in one sickening moment when I paused one day to imagine what I'd do if this friend fell ill with cancer, like my other friend. I knew that I would fly to be with her, stay by her side forever if I had to, and revel in her extraordinary rarity, intelligence, kindness, forget all the shitty stupid petty small points of contention between us, because they were so insignificant in light of our own inevitable mortality.

So. Those are the basic subjects of the song. It's about all sorts of things, but I guess the main story is about death, love, putting things off..."



beautiful.


drinking: full sail wassail
listening: joanna newsom. y's. followed by george winston's december. followed by fiona apple's when the pawn....
just returned from watching: stranger than fiction.
reading: still murakami. i'm soooo slow.
playing: nothing...xbox broken.
art: lisa alisa

listen to this poem / with your hips...

i've been wanting to post this for a while now, but this is pretty much the first time that i have come up for air.





typical cats. what you thought hops. lyrics.

i've talked before about my love of rap/hip-hop that is less about the music and more about the poetry. here, we have a rapper who admits a few lines in that, "rockin's kinda new to me cause my true love is poetry." if the man has any talent, you know i'll love it. he does.

they're all from chicago. they all have solo projects (though i refuse to believe that any of them are nearly as good as typical cats.) when someone else writes a perfect, succinct summary for me, it's hard to pass up the plagiarism. this is from omnimix.com:
"…far from typical. Qwel is the punchline-happy battle rapper, Qwazaar is the savage, "you're gonna get punched in the eye with the mic" type of rapper, and denizen kane is the poetic, often deep rhymer." as i'm sure you can guess from just that little tidbit, the above song is primarily denizen kane.

everyone who has ridden anywhere with me in my car in the last couple weeks has heard this track. if you get bored by looped samples and nothing but the sound of cavalcade after cavalcade of perfectly spaced syllables, steer clear of this song. if, however, you enjoy words...enjoy this.

i will post more poetry soon!



spencer and people who like words,
check this out and tell me you didn't laugh, despite your best efforts.



in personal news:

i am now the soccer coach for the varsity girls at my mini alma mater, anzar high. this has provided me with the course that my life has been missing for so long. i'm getting in better shape again (and you know how that excites me!) i'm doing what i want to be doing...now i just need to get back into school! talk about the perfect resume enhancer for someone that wants to teach kids and coach sports for the school. i also now have my foot in the door in this school district...which just might be where i want to teach.

also, and this is really exciting, i'm dealing w/good kids!don't get me wrong, i like most of the kids in juvie, but the place gets more than a little depressing. we all laugh about seeing the same faces time after time, but i hate it.

my soccer team has given me the absolute perfect first week. i couldn't ask for anything more. they have been being put through the proverbial ringer this week and have come out the other side with grins on their faces. i guarantee that almost all of them could barely walk upon rising each morning, but they came back out and did it again every day! so exciting! if any of you girls have managed to find your way to my blog...thank you!!

first game (preseason) is on wednesday...please wish us luck!!!!

the only downside to this new job is that i haven't really had time to sleep in weeks. ahhhhh sleep....

life is looking better than it has in a long long time.

!

oh yeah...also, comment or i'll kill you (you know...since i just passed another thousand hits, it is incredibly easy to calculate the percentage of people who comment when they visit...it's 3%. pitiful. seriously guys...i often post full albums...albums cost like $15 [don't they? i haven't bought one in years...]...that isn't worth the 30 seconds it takes to register an opinion about the music? or about me...we all know that you have opinions about me: those of you who are intelligent and nice will have good things while those of you who are always wrong about absolutely everything will likely have negative comments. like a whipped cur, just hungry for the attention, i'll take either.)



image: linda poole. (and yes, i realize that it has nothing to do w/the post...i just love minmalist paintings of crowded streets. even her gauguinian stuff looks good...and i am not a fan of his.)

wake up!

ok...i felt bad for having such a lame playlist up for you. i thought i'd make it a little better. that one was short mostly because i had just worked 51 hrs in four days.
i still managed to forget one of the songs i wanted, but this is decent. not that the songs in the last one weren't good...in fact, they are on this list too. really, i could just delete the last one.
this is a wakeup mix. if you have 40 minutes to spend waking up...do it to this. just hit play and it should rattle off the whole thing. if you wish to download any of the tracks, do so on the right.

1- burnt friedman and jaki liebezeit (feat david sylvian). the librarian.
2- jose gonzales. heartbeats (the knife cover).
3- 13&God. afterclap.
4- mansfield.tya. pour oublier je dors.
5- the eels. living life (daniel johnston cover).
6- rodrigo y gabriella. diablo rojo.
7- birds and bees. boyfriend.
8- gabriel rios. broad daylight.
9- bitter:sweet. dirty laundry.



this is a much better and more complete (though still way short) mix. however, they are some of my favorite songs right now. most of them have been acquired over the last month. i normally don't post this many songs and i normally spend some time talking about them...but...deal with it.

if you have a short attention span, start with the last few....the mix starts very slow (but very very good.) if you only have time for one, and are feeling add, listen to broad daylight...that is such a fantastic track.

tomorrow night, i'm seeing borat. come along.

here are some bonus indexes w/some really great albums:

velvet teen - cum laude + others.
postal service - give up + others.
royskopp - the understanding + others.



post graveyard

i thought the title fit well with the season.

of course, i am actually referring to where and what i am right now. i just got home from work. i am currently typing with my eyes closed...it is almost time for sleep.

these songs were in my head tonight. my brain provides the sweetest soundtracks ever...my whole life feels like an art film.

so, hit play and continue with your important web browsing in another window. think of it as a fantastic radio station (or, for those fans of askaninja.com...think of it as apple pie for whales.)

also, this was supposed to be longer, but i just don't have it in me right now. enjoy your tiny, three song, playlist. brevity is the soul of wit...so get off my back.





burnt friedman and jaki liebezeit (feat david sylvian).   the librarian.
gabriel rios.   broad daylight.
rodrigo y gabriella.   diablo rojo.

the universe is shaped exactly like the earth...

as matt pointed out, getting excited about being able to walk isn't something that everyone can understand. without evil, there is no good; without dark, no light; without injuries, simply putting one foot in front of the other just isn't cause for celebration.

in a related note, what is the deal w/some people not owning icepacks? how boring is your life that you never need an icepack? i would put my life in the boring column, but i need an icepack almost every day of my life.

i know that this is a music blog, but i don't feel much like writing about music. how about this...i will post one song that is blowing up the music world right now, followed by a link to one of the best albums ever made ever. that seems pretty fair don't you think?





rodrigo y gabriela.   tamacun. (alternate link)

i chose the above picture both because i am a sucker for b&w, and because it is difficult to see that these are two of the least attractive people to ever hit #1 on any chart anywhere. now, i am well aware of my own predilections, and this certainly does affect my conclusion, but his is the only moustache in music worse than jack white's pedophile special.

ahem! music. fuck it...just listen to the song. if you have the ability to convert vibrations into something pretty, you'll love it. two people. two guitars. no frills (unless you count monumental and seismic skill as a frill.) if it can be done on a guitar, they can do it. i accidentally listened to this song for about a half hour the other night on repeat.

they are coming to kuumbwa soon. anyone interested in seeing them live, let me know. adam and i have plans to go.

bonus:  rodrigo y gabriela.   stairway to heaven.




modest mouse.   the moon and antarctica (full album).

this picture was picked out because maya would love it.

no hyperbole. in the last ten years, i can only think of two albums that i would give a perfect ten. this is one. don't make me write about it...please.

modest mouse is driving music. or sleeping music. or sexytime music (not proven...you may want to clear it first before putting on something so dissonant.) or lazy day. or pissed off. sing along. shout along.

their earlier albums showed a unique promise and an exciting disregard for the pop we all know and love. there was a crashing yelpiness that was difficult to swallow at first but that repaid repeated listens. songs like 'dramamine' on this is a long drive for someone w/nothing to think about, showed the direction that brock and co. were headed.

but the jump from interesting to priceless happened on this disc. there is a world view here. an ethos. there is loneliness and anger. i don't even know what to say...i've always hated those assignments that required in-depth ass kissing. suffice it to say...album good, album best.

the universe is shaped exactly like the earth,
if you go straight long enough, you'll end up where you were.


truer words were never sung in any pitch. modest mouse may be famous to 12 year olds everywhere for 'float on', which is a terrific song on a terrific album, but if all you know of mm is good news, come back and listen to them at their best.



sharks season starts in 3, no 2 now, 2 days! booya-ka-sha! where my sharks fans at? (how do you spell holler like a black person w/o coming off even whiter than writing holler?)


for real

okkervil river.   for real.


Some nights I thirst for real blood
For real knives
For real cries
And then the flash of steel from real guns
In real life
Really fills my mind

And I really miss what really did exist
When I held your throat so tight
And I miss the bus as it swerved from us
Almost came crashing to its side

Sometimes the blood from real cuts
Feels real nice
When it's really mine
And if you want it to be real
Come over for one night
And we can really, really climb

And those blue bridge lights might really burn most bright
As we watch that dark lake rise
And if you really want to see what really matters most to me
Just take a real short drive

It's just a drive into the dark stretch
Long stretch of night
Will really stretch this shaking mind
And this room, unlit, unheated
And the ceiling striped
And the dark black blinds

I want to know this time if you're really finally mine
I need to know that you're not lying so I want to see you tried
And I don't want to hear you say it shouldn't really be this way
'Cause I like this way just fine

'Cause there's nothing quite like the blinding light
That curtains cast aside
And no attempt is made to explain away
The things that really, really, really, really, really are behind

You can't hide
You can't hide
You can't hide

You can't hide
You can't hide
You can't hide

the first cold shower; even the monkey seems to want a little coat of straw...

for those of you that actually read my blogs, i have a huge apology to make. i don't even want to check the last time i posted...it has been for ever. i mostly stopped myspacing (so you should feel pretty good if i have written you at all during my break from blogging.) in addition, i all but stopped reading music blogs.

i hate that i often come off all mopey in my blogs like some kid w/a white belt and his sister's pants, but i pretty much only sit down to write when i am unhappy with the way the rest of my life is going. as a method of combating this, i am watching conan (o'brien, not the barbarian) while writing. that should help the mood...right? and lord, do i need a boost.

if there is anyone out there who reads this but doesn't know me, i have been injured. frustratingly injured (i didn't even know you could bruise a nerve.) now, it takes a little greater knowledge of me to know that when i am confined to a bed, i become depressed very quickly. not bummed, but depressed. usually, this leads straight to booze. thank you to the two (count 'em, 2) friends who have come to see me in the roughly two weeks.

The Mountain Goats. Get Lonely (full album).



just kidding.





ok...music. as though it were something new, and thereby worthy of mention, i have been lonely. this is, perhaps, the best lonely album ever. i am totally in love with the mountain goats, this is why i post them more than almost any other band. i do not feel that this album is a good representation of the majority of this band's music, nor is it my favorite from the MGs, but it is so soothing and sad and pretty and cathartic. beautiful story telling combined with beautiful music = nearly absent musical aesthetic in a post simon and garfunkle musical world.

those goats in the pic above are freaking awesome. i will say that it looks like a caption contest though.


instead of taking the time to post more tonight, allow me to supply links to two of my favorite music blogs...both of which i visited for the first time in a long time yesterday. they are alike in that they both post music of all genres, and that they both feature fantastic writing by folks who know a good deal more about music than i do. i do love my indie-rock and alt-country, but every now and then, a good norweigan glitch pop tune really hits the spot. both blogs are completely famous in the blog world, and for good reason. i hope you find something that you enjoy...lord knows i did.

Aurgasm.
Said the Grammaphone.


it is possible that i might start blogging again, now that i am collecting music again.

see, that wasn't too mopey.

The bright light's meant to burn your eyes

super short:

i was looking through some drawers, searching for the study guide (which prefers to be abbreviated as follows: stdygd.) with hopes of typing it up.

instead, i found a pile of old crap that left me feeling like this:





and this:

Beck.   Lonesome Tears.


it is unfathomable, the power that old handwriting and doodles can have. i wonder: do those doors we worked so hard to open ever close completely? every now and then, i feel the tiniest draft.


the beck track is off of "Sea Change", which is perhaps the greatest breakup album of all time. i tried to find a link to the whole album, but was unsuccessful. it is a love it or hate it album, and is completely different from the beck that you heard on MTV. personally, i think it is terrific. if you have some wallowing to do, and if you are very interested in getting the whole thing, let me know...i'll send it to you.


these are some good things happening to me!

+ i found my hiking socks!! this will save me mega-$ when i go to REI to pick up my new boots (i recommend the 360* view...it is spectacular.)

+ i am going to be playing soccer again!!! my team starts games on the 26th. too cool.